I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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