gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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