he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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