ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
