I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
