She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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