So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
