i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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