Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
