I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You took a bar mat shot.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
