And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
