well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
