is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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