You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize