the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
