This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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