mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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