i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
