i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
