How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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