feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
