if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize