I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
