Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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