haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
