I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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