im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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