Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
