just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
