Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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