She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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