Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
