There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We just shotgunned beers for America
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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