he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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