I wish I only lived at night.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
