i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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