NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
