I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
