If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
