shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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