Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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