he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
