so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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