I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
