I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just pee around me
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
