Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
