Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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