i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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