You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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