I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize