im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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