did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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