i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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