Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize