Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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