a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
