Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
