your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize