we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
