I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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