glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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