i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
